I had an interesting conversation with my in-laws the other day. I did one of those impromptu things where I was in the area and dropped in on them with out the kids. If you knew about my relationship with them 15 years ago, you would be in as much shock as I am that I do these spontaneous visits….but that is a post for another day!
Anyway, we got talking and usually after a while the topic of Keith and grief comes up. We were talking about the kids and how they were doing and I shared a story that related to my kids grief journey. After recounting my story, my Mother-in-law said “do you really think they (the kids) are still grieving?”
This comment came only minutes after she told me about a time where she saw a man that looked exactly like Keith and how upsetting that was to her and how it took a few days to regroup from that experience. She also shared that she wakes up in the middle of the night and thinks about him. Both my in-laws had silent tears running down their cheeks as we talked about Keith, his life and death. In my humble opinion, the both are clearly still grieving the death of their son…as they should be.
I think that is why I was taken back by her question “do you really think they are still grieving?” My response was “of course they are!” (and I was calm when I said it – another moment in our relationship that I pat myself on the back for!!!)
Grief is a life long experience, one that we all continually process as time passes. Whether you were 74 when you son died or a young child when your dad died, you grieve, you miss, you wonder, you grow, you cry, you change, you remember, you honor and you may even cry some more!
We never get over our grief, we learn how to live with it. Grief is truly the price we pay for love