When Keith died, I died too. The person I was, the hopes and dreams for our future, my expectations of the world all died too. His death completely changed me. Redefining and recreating who I was after his death was a long and scary process.
Part of recreating ourselves is to take a good look at where we are at and what we do want for our future. During our 3 weeks together in group we explored our fears, our dreams (no matter how crazy they may seem), our hopes for 2017 and what we needed to help make those hopes reality.
In order to achieve our goals we need to have supports in place to help us. Here are some of the ideas we came up with…
- Finding a babysitter, family member or friend who will come on a designated schedule (ie once a week/month) so you can have your own time to do what you need to.
2. Creating a list of emergency back up people you can call when plans don’t go your way and you need immediate help.
3. Scheduling time to complete chores – plan to go grocery shopping the same time each week and cooking the same weekly menu to lessen the stress over “what do I cook tonight!”
4. If you can, spend money to save you time. Hire a cleaning lady, order groceries on line and you go and pick them up, hire a teenager to cut grass, etc. These may seem like luxury items to others, but can be the difference between high levels of stress and manageable stress for yourself.
5. Utilize your kids to help you. No matter how old they are, they can be doing things to help out and lessening your load. It can be as simple as hanging up their coat, putting their boots away, to laundry, cutting grass or if old enough, making dinner.
I encourage you to take some time and make a list of 5 reasonable goals you wish to achieve in 2017. Then look at what supports you need to make it happen and start to put those in place. I realize this isn’t easy, but it starts with one tiny step.