Only 2 short days until the first day of school. A day that is probably filled with mixed emotions…happy, anxious, sad, relief & joy! This may be your first “back to school” day without your spouse or perhaps you have had a few on your own…regardless, this day can definitely stir up the grief bubbles.
I’ll never forget my first back to school after Keith died. Actually it my first ever school experience with my 3 yr old. Before Keith was even diagnosed I had registered my son into preschool. I was proud of myself for being so organized and ready for the fall. Keith died in July and school wasn’t in my sights until they called and told my payment had bounced (we closed that account after his death). I guess I had forgotten to let the preschool know. And now here I was having to change all the payment and contact details and explaining why… I still remember the pause on the other end of the phone and then the condolences. I hated those!
It seemed for years that I always had to tell the teacher our circumstances, ask them to keep an extra eye on my kids to see if they noticed any behavioural stuff I should be aware of. Each year was a marker of time that we were embarking on another year without Keith.
I say this a lot in my journey, but I can’t believe 14 yrs has passed since Keith died. But today I am more in awe of the fact that the little boy I signed up for preschool is entering his last year of high school and that my new born daughter is going into Gr 9. Scares me at how fast time can fly.
I had originally made a list of ideas to help get ready for Tuesday, but I don’t think there is really anything we can do to truly prepare ourselves, because we don’t know how the day is going to unfold. So I came up with a different list…
1. Go easy
2. Be patient
3. Honor all the emotions – both yours and your kid’s
4. Get camera and be ready to take pictures AND make sure YOU are in them
5. Order take out for Tuesday dinner!
I know this week will be tough. I know it will pull your heart strings. I know it will be a bundle full of emotions. I remember, I feel it. I stand beside you and I cheer you on.
Hugs to all of you.