So I have been struggling with my post for this week – typed it up a few times and still not happy with it. The gist of the post was to slow down – hit the pause button of life. Halloween decorations were out before school started and I have even seen Christmas decorations on display. And my youngest is already talking about Valentine’s day! I still think my message is relevant, but I can’t find the words to say what I want to! So last night the spirits that be have given me the words for my post.
My daughter has a school assignment to write a poem about a special item in her life. She chose to write about the quilt that I made for her out of Keith’s shirts. The quilt that took me over 10 years to make – the quilt that was a whole grief journey unto itself….but that is a post for another day!
As she went through the process of writing it she would share passages with me and want my opinion. As a good Mom I always told her it was great. Well, last night she read me the finished poem. I stopped, sat and listened to every word she said. When she finished, she looked up at me…I had no words for her, but I think the tears in my eyes said it all.
It was amazing, awesome, beautiful, heartfelt, tragic, and raw. Many moments in my children’s grief are so bittersweet. Why should a 13 yr old girl be able to write a poem about the death of her Dad? How can a 13 yr old girl be able to articulate so eloquently the tragedy of losing her Dad? How can a 13 yr old girl take that tragedy and make the most amazing lemonade out of lemons and create a fabulous life for herself? How? Why? How can I be more proud of her…?
I do have her permission to share – but you only get one section…
“I wrap myself
The love rushes through my body
I feel him close
I reach out to grab his hand
But no one is there”